How Charity Can Be Toxic?

 An interesting interview with author Robert D. Lupton (Toxic Charity) Click here

Change?

 A friend sent this short film to me last week. It is a bit "cheesy", but still inspiring. I like how it plays on the word "Change?"

Change?

Watch it and judge it yourself.

Congruency by Jessica Chan (1.26.1992)

72 bpm

 blood must be pumped through the heart to keep a person alive

being alive is not the same as living

average size of a human heart: about the size of a fist

congruency: equal in size and shape//actions align with emotions

a square can be a rectangle, but a rectangle can never be a square

incongruency: outward actions differ from internal emotions

having to hold back creates a façade

 

it is not impossible to feel alone in a crowd

 

1.26.1992

 A square among many rectangles

Chicks with Guns

"Chicks with Guns" by Lindsay McCrum
I learned how to shoot in high school as every school girl from Taiwan at that time had to. Then I was invited to join the high school shooting team since I was a good shooter and not afraid of guns. I was eventually kicked off the team due to my deteriorating eyesight (nearsightedness). But my fond of guns never really went away. A few years ago when my church held an outing for gun range, I made sure that both of my children (son and daughter) learned gun safety and how to shoot.

This week I leaned that 15 to 20 millions women in the US own guns in the book titled "Chicks with Guns" by Lindsay McCrum.

Topography of Faith by USATODAY

Thank you, Jay, for pointing me to this tool! The Pew survey sorts people into major religious grouping in the US.
Click on the following and see the different religions by state and elsewhere by holding cursor over a state.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/graphics/pew-religion-08/flash.htm

Some data just might surprise you!

Hallelujah Chorus -Quinhagak, Alaska

This video, from the small Yupiq Eskimo Village of Quinhagak, Alaska , was a school computer project intended for the other Yupiq villages in the area. Much to the villagers' shock, close to one million people have viewed it. The idea might start with the "silent monk" video, but this one carries the creative idea into their own social and cultural context. It simply bring a smile to your face!

What Is In the News: Woman, Humanity, Ethic, Science, and Culture Bondages

1. "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks" by Rebecca Skloot.

--Henrietta Lacks, a poor black tobacco farmer who was terminally ill with cervical-cancer and died at age 31.  Before her death, doctor at Johns Hopkins Hospital removed two dime-sized pieces of her cervix for research without her permission.

--Henrietta Lacks' cells were the first human cells to be grown successfully in a lab. Her cells proved to be so prolific and sturdy that researchers everywhere wanted them.

--Over the years, billions of her cells have been grown in labs---estimated to be enough to circle the equator three times.

THE LIST

Dear Mabel pointed me to Wayne Grudem's article on "What women should do in church?", check it out here.  He listed 83 church ministries and categorized them into three lists:

List 1 includes ministries that involve governing authority;
List 2 includes ministries that involve Bible teaching; and
List 3 includes ministries that involve public visibility and recognition.

I realize that you can go to the link and read the list yourself....and please do read the entire article.  However, I can not seem to pass up the most wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the forming process of a Pharisee.  It is not every day that one can have a living and modern day example of the good old Pharisee who have developed 39 categories of activities prohibited on Sabbath, yet so completely missed the true meaning of Sabbath.

The Road of Life

Today is the kind of day that I feel I just can't "pedal" anymore....and I am reminded about this poem:

At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die.  He was out there sort of like a president.  I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I really didn’t know Him.

But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.

I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since.

Power of 50+

According to United Nation Population Division; US Census; National Geographic, Jan., 2011, World Bank Alzheimer's Disease International:

1. Earth is now home to some 7 billion people. By 2050, 60+ population will rise from close to 11%  to 22% of people on the planet....which translates to about 2 billion people.  Welcome to the PARTIES!

2. Average life expectancy for a human being born today is 67.5 years old.  In 2050, it will be 75.5.  I'm probably not going to be around to see this......:):)!

Submission to A Wife Abuser?

October is the Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I avoided the topic for 15 days. I knew that talking about it would stir up too many emotions inside. But tonight, after watching John Piper's YouTube video, I can no longer stay silent. 

“If the numbers we see in domestic violence were applied to terrorism or gang violence, the entire country would be up inarms, and it would be the lead story on the news every night.” --- Rep. Mark Green

Now do see the number here: Domestic Violence Resource Center
or a simple fact sheet here: National Coaliltion Against Domestic Violence

Then watch this video from John Piper:
John Piper: Does A Woman Submit to Abuse?

Creation Calls--Are You Listening?

A friend sent this link to me.  It is a beautiful short film with the song "Creation Calls---Are You Listening?"

 www.andiesisle.com/creation/magnificent.html

Music by Brian Doerksen www.briandoerksen.com

Utilizing footage from the BBC Planet Earth Series, this film (done by the Branch church) takes a look at the wonder and majesty of God’s creation . This stunning glimpse of God’s masterpiece is meant to glorify Him and draw the mind to new places of intimacy with Him.

Women's Suffrage: A Victory for San Diego, A Century Later

           Exactly a century ago today, on Oct. 10, 1911, California men went to the polls to vote for or against women’s suffrage.  This was not the first time (the first vote in 1896 ended in defeat).  But this time 3,331 San Diegan men favored women’s suffrage and 2,464 voted against.  The final statewide count showed 125,037 for and 121,450 against.  After much hard work of dedicated women and men, California women were finally granted the right to vote! [1]

"Smell the Color 9" by Chris Rice

I would take 'no' for an answer
Just to know I heard You speak
And I’m wonderin’ why I’ve never
Seen the signs they claim they see
Are the special revelations
Meant for everybody but me?
Maybe I don’t truly know You
Or maybe I just simply believe

Gender Incongruent Field

            On my flight from Beijing to Kunming this summer, I picked up a copy of “China Daily” (Aug. 20, 2011) and was surprised to find all kinds of news about women. 

• ·         In entertainment news, the large picture of a famous singer and the story about her imminent come back tour was prominently displayed. 

• ·         In national news, a young woman (24 years old) was criticized for her lack of qualification to run the 1.5 billion yuan international project (Project Hope). 

• ·         In the Sport section, the young female golfer Yani (22 years old, ranking number 1 in the world) made news visiting the Youth Golf Invitational.  Another large picture and story about the Chinese National Woman Soccer team winning the semifinal over Brazil donned the next page. 

• ·         In the World News section, China Daily reported the teenager female daredevil Maya (19 years old) wowed the crowds in Japan.  She is the first female ever joined and won the auto race (in 44 years).  

Who Am I? Who are you?

Came cross this quote from Thomas Merton this morning, stopped me cold in my track:

If you want to identify me, 

ask me 

not where I live, 

or what I like to eat, 

or how I comb my hair, 

but ask me what I think I am living for, in detail, 

and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the thing I want to live for. 

Between these two answers you can determine the identity of any person.   

How would you answer these two questions? 

Read more about Thomas Merton here

Sex Trafficking and Modern Day Slavery

 "Not to know is bad.  Not to want to know is worse.  Not to hope is unthinkable.  Not to care is unforgivable."  Nigerian saying.

Call to Prayer for Victims of Sex Trade Trafficking
Sunday 25 September 2011

This event might be over, but the battle goes on.....for we understand that in this battle we wrestle "against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).

To know more about sex trade in our own backyard, please read the New York Times article here.  US was ranked on Human Trafficking Report for first time on June 15, 2010 here.

"Bloopers" from Church Bulletins

An important part of a wholistic and healthy spiritual formation process, I believe, is having the ability to laugh at ourselves.  So allow me to share with you some of the "bloopers" from actual church bulletins (or announcements in church services).  Enjoy and have a good laugh!

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Asian American Women on Leadership

 Another wonderful blog that worth checking into:  http://aawolblog.blogspot.com/

       I am a Christian.  I am a woman.  I am an Asian living in America.  My spiritual root, gender, and cultural heritage are all parts of who I am.  To talk about wholistic spiritual formation, I believe that we need to talk about all aspects of our humanity.  A lot of time, we were taught a one-size-fits-all spirituality and then we lived and served accordingly.....and realized slowly that just like one-size-fits-all clothing doesn't usually fit anyone properly, neither will the one-size-fits-all spirituality. 

        I pray and hope that this blog will help you starting thinking about the Asian American Women experiences in North America Churches (Asian or non-Asian churches alike)....especially in regard to leadership.

A White Horse Named Christ

It all started with the "white horse named Jesus":

In the middle of a discipleship class I was teaching last semester, Joey suddenly shared with the class that he had a vision (while reading Revelation) of horse racing....and the white horse was Jesus.  So he wanted to buy a pure white horse and name it Jesus....like the white horses in the book of Revelation (7 and 19).  And he would put the white horse in the race and since its name is Jesus, it would win all the races.  And then he would give all the winning money to the church.

           To say that I was caught by surprised was probably an understatement.  This discussion of "a white horse named Jesus" then slow evolved in the next 45 min. into a whole discussion of the pro and cons (and Christian views) of gambling, drinking, and yes, even prostitution.  Of course, the context of the discussion centered around life on Indian Reservation.  You see, Joey was part Indian (on his dads side from Mexico) and was married to a native American Indian from Sycuan.

Could Christ Have Been Born A Woman?

(as published in Kingdom Resources For Christ, Sept., 2011) KRC website
           About a month ago I came across a systematic theology paper (on Christology) that I wrote almost 20 years ago, titled: Could Christ have been born a woman?  I (a young mother then), partly enraged by the injustice and oppression observed in many women’s lives, and partly still hurting from my own somewhat negative experience with church leadership, decided that this topic would be one way to deal with my own internal turmoil. However, I approached the topic from a different perspective: the perspective of “power and leadership”, based on Jesus’ life and ministry.  To me, after all, it was never about the “gender” of Jesus, but the human (sinful) view of power and leadership.

Bound : Art Project and Writing from Jessica Chan (my favorite daughter)

“Bound” is a three part series featuring three groupings of Chinese women. 

It is meant to create a dialogue about the subtle, yet very alive and continual oppression of women through pressures created by society. There has always been a specific ideal image of the Chinese woman that has shifted throughout history. Beginning in the 10th century and lasting until the advent of the Communist reign, Chinese women were expected to partake in the practice of foot binding. By bending, and therefore breaking, their feet into the desired lotus blossom shape, these women were considered socially and economically attractive, as the practice was widespread among the wealthy. 

Bound feet were also considered sexually arousing yet many times the process led to gangrene and foul smelling bacteria growth. With physically bound feet, women remained immobile, literally and figuratively, controlled by a male-dominated society in all aspects of their lives. This type of control is not as apparent in today’s society, but its presence still exists in various forms. Chinese women are expected to be quiet, submissive, petite, and pale-skinned while the opposite translates into undesirability.

The first piece in the series is a hand bound book, printed on a press using linoleum block and monotype techniques. The faces are visible, but are also blocked by a lotus image to reflect the silence of women under oppression and to function as a reference to bound feet.

Each woman is either a model or a movie star and represents the ideal Chinese woman of modern society. Each face becomes completely visible only when the time is taken to undo the knot that holds the pages the together, otherwise each one remains partially blocked.

Fullness in Christ Fellowship

http://www.ficfellowship.org/index-s.html

This is the website for FiCF (Fullness in Christ Fellowship).   As stated on the website, the purpose of FiCF is to minister to women so that the image of God can be restored in them, and that they may live out the abundant life as promised by Christ.

Please check out the website and if you can, please also contribute to it via writing, prayer and financial support. 

I am a proud member of FiCF and hope you can join us someday. Both men and women are welcomed to join.  After all, God created both in His image and likeness.  When either one is oppressed, put down, discarded, and shamed, the other suffers also.   

Beauty Distored

Another video done by Dove.  What a Photo Shop can do!!  Or should I say: what a Photo Shop can NOT do??!!

Beauty Onslaughter

A video done by Dove.  Please share this with your daughter(s) and take the opportunity to talk about self-image (the image created by God in His own image and likeness) and the distortion that is so prevalent in our culture. 

Woman's Life in 90 seconds

An interesting advertisement!

"Mozart's Sister": Look at a Sibling Reduced to a Footnote

The title of the movie review in San Diego Union Tribune (9/9/2011) shouted:

“Mozart’s Sister”

looks at a sibling reduced to a footnote

That sister, Maria Anna Walburga Ignatia Mozart (known as Nannerl), born 1751, was said to possess a rare talent.  Mozart’s father (Leopold) was so dazzled by his son that he hardly has eyes or ears for Nannerl.  Her role has been decided.  An accomplished harpsichordist and singer, she served as her brother’s accompanist.  After a long tour (when Wolfgang was 7), Leopold forced her to stay home, where she took up her new role as wife, mother and footnote to a genius.

The review asked: is Nannerl a genius? a martyr? a feminist cause?  a disappointed daughter?  a resigned woman? or all of the above?

Are you a King or a Priest?

Are you a King or a Priest?

By Esther Liu (based on Pastor John You’s teaching)

                In OT time, building God’s Holy Tempt took two kinds of people: The King and the Priest.  The King was the one who provided all the financial backing for the project (gold, silver, wood, stones, iron, bronze and even men skilled in every kind of work).  With great care he lined up all that needed and set out to build the Temple of God.  This was clearly evidenced in David’s Kingdom.

                Then after the physical Temple was built, it was the Priest (the Levites) who would supervise the work of the Temple of the Lord.  After Nehemiah finished the work of re-building Jerusalem and the temple, Ezra (the Scribe and Priest) was called in to read/teach the Book of the Law (“God’s Word was made known to them”).  Now the “Spiritual Temple” was also built up to worship/praise God.

                The King could not do what the Priest did (in fact, he was not allowed to).  Neither the Priest did what the King could do (Priest owned no properties, “God is their portions”).  However, both were needed.  Both were important.  Both contributed to the building of God’s Temple.  Each faithfully did what God called them to do.  In one heart and in unity, the King and the Priest built the magnificent Temple of God.

                Now, we no longer have a physical Temple of God……but the needs of building the Spiritual Temple of God (consist of God’s people) still exist.  We still need the “King” to financially back the building process.  We still need the “Priest” to explain and bring out God’s Word to his people.  As long as you are a Christian, you are called into “mission” (The Great Commission” in Matt 28 is for every Christian), however, you might be the “King” or you might be the “Priest”.  The “Temple” of God will not be built when missing any one of the two.

                Many years ago, Pastor John You was asked to share God’s wisdom and encouragements with a group of young adults who just got back from their short term mission trip.  Pastor You shared the above concept of “King and Priest”.  Afterward, several young men approached him and thanked him.  They were relieved (from despairs).  You see, my brothers and sisters, these young people had hearts burning for the lost souls and they had been called into mission.  However, after their mission trip, they also realized that the mission field was not where they felt called to go.  They were confused and discouraged.  But after Pastor You’s sharing, they realized that they are the “Kings”.  Yes, they are called to the Great Commission.  Yes, they want to see the lost soul saved.  But they are called to be the “Kings”, not the “Priests”.  

                These young people faithfully and diligently work in their jobs and businesses and they faithfully give financial support for the mission ministry of the church.  Every year, church sent out those who are called to be the “Priests” to various mission fields and along with their “Kings” at home, they built up the Temple of God!  

                For too long, Chinese churches lift up the “Priests” and praise their faithfulness in carrying out God’s Great Commission, but often neglect those “Kings” who faithfully and continuously offer their financial backing of the ministry.  My prayer and hope is by sharing this teaching with you, more and more brothers and sisters will rise up and join the calling, the Great Commission, and into building the Temple of God everywhere….each according to his/her calling and gifting!

The Power of Familial Influence

               (This article was first published in Kingdom Resources Magazine, Aug., 2010)

               John and Mary were both excited about the upcoming Christmas holiday.  This would be their first Christmas together as a “family”.  Moved far away from home, the newlywed wanted to make this time special for each other.  On Christmas eve, with great anticipation, Mary called John into their small living room, carefully decorated with a Christmas tree and several well chosen gifts under it, “Come on, let’s open our gifts!!”.  John walked in with a puzzled look on his face, “Opening gifts now?  But this is Christmas Eve.  Shouldn’t we open the gift on Christmas Day?”.  Now it was Mary’s turn to be puzzled, “Christmas Day?  But Jesus was born on Christmas Eve and the three Kings brought gifts.  So we always opened gifts on Christmas Eve.”  John looked at Mary wearily, “Come on, Christmas Day is the day you celebrate Jesus’ birthday, so we always open the gift on Christmas Day”……

                This is just a simple, maybe even funny story about the powerful influence of our family of origins have in our lives.  From smaller issues such as when to open gifts, how to celebrate a holiday, expectation of who does what in a family to much deeper and larger issues such as our world view, value system and our most fundamental sense of self, we are tucked, pulled and pushed by this deep rooted power from the past.  In my previous blog, I talked about how some of the past events/people in our lives (especially the “secrets”) are part of the “debris” that needs to be cleaned out so that our Garden can flourish (that we can continue to grow in Christ without hindrance).  In this blog, I would like to point out yet another significant influence from our past: our family of origins, when not face head on, accept and deal with, can also become “debris” that stunts the growth in the Garden.  

                We are probably all familiar with the story of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 20:1-18 where, for the second time, Abraham presented Sarah, his wife, as his sister (first time at Genesis 12:10-20).   What is the most interesting is that in Genesis 26:1-11, his son Isaac did the exact same thing to his wife Rebekah.  This generational pattern was also quite evident in the record of Kings of Israel (such as 15:8-9, a negative example, 2Chrinicles 34:1-2, a positive example)….”he walked in the way of his father…..  The truth is that none of us came from a vacuum, our parents, siblings, and our extended families all played significant roles in shaping and molding us to be who we are today.  By studying the Gospel of Matt and Luke, we can even observe that God had good reasons to choose Joseph and Mary so that Jesus, as a human, was born and raised in a Godly family (Mary’s obedience to the angel’s message, her song praising God using all the OT passages, Joseph being a righteous man, Both Mary and Joseph’s commitment to follow God’s commend and guidance, all at great personal cost are a few examples).

                One of the tool that have been extremely helpful in understanding this influence is “Genorgram” (a family tree diagram outlining the history of the behavior/relational patterns from gender, birth order, age, education, illness, to divorce, abortion, or suicide, of a family over several generations).  Understand one’s past is not to find excuses to justified one’s behaviors now, but to help each of us to know the reason why we behave and think certain way.  With a clear understanding of our past and past influences, we then can learn to accept and deal with all its effect on our present lives and relationships (with God and with our fellow men and women).  

                 In 1 John 1: 5, the scripture said: God is light, in him there is no darkness.  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.” The darkness here mostly means our sins. However, from my many years of pastoral care experience, I realized that too many of us “walked in darkness”, not intentionally sinning, but dreadfully unaware of the powerful shaping of the past, acted and re-acted out of that ignorance and hurt by others and continue to hurt others.  The uncontrollable anger inside, the compelling desire to control everything within reach, the inability to trust anyone (even God) many times are the results of physical, verbal and sexual abuse existed in the family of origins.  To be truly freed from our bondages of the past, we need to pray and ask God to shed light into that darkness, humbly follow God’s guidance and look very carefully where we have come from and how it has influenced us, bring everything before God and then and only then we can find healing and forgiveness in Christ.

                I highly recommend a web site called GenoPro which offers a trial version for you to use free for a period of time.  It will take some time to fill in all the information.  You might have to talk to your parents, sibling, uncles and aunties, other significant others in your lives about the past.  Some of your family members might find you terribly strange and some might do their best to avoid the topics, some might even get very angry.  But I pray that God will give you strength to go on.  I also realized that for some of you, past is not a pretty/comforting place to visit.  For some of you, the past might even be a frightening place, a place full of tears, pains and sorrows.  Therefore, do go back with God and the love of Christ, knowing that you are sons and daughters of the almighty God and no one can harm you now and God is with you and surrounding you with His love.  

                Allow me to just end this blog with a personal story to demonstrate how genogram had helped me in understanding myself and my relationship with my husband (Chin-Lee) of 25 years.  

                Chin-Lee and I came from very different families.  My family members are all pretty straight forward type of person and very LOUD (louder when we argued).  My parents did not use physical punishment when they were angry, but use loud scolding followed by cold silent.  It always scared and frightened me when my mother would not talk to me.  I often felt lost, alone and unloved when it happened.  Chin-Lee grew up in a family that was full of conflicts.  His father had very short fuse and criticized his mother loudly and physically punished him and his older brothers, sometimes harshly.  Growing up, Chin-Lee was always afraid of his father’s loud voices and hated conflicts in general. 

After we got married, Chin-Lee and I would go into this strange cycle: conflict started, I raised my voice, he shut down and went into complete silence, I cried and felt abandoned, raised my voice even louder to draw him out, and he went deeper into his even colder silence (to avoid any conflict)….and the conflict continued……  This cycle could go on for days, sometimes weeks.  We never knew why (“walk in darkness”), we only knew that it hurt both of us and our relationship.  Not until we finally sat down and looked hard into our family of origins, we realized that without understanding our past, we had let the past control how we acted and re-acted to each other.  From that point on, I learned to speak softly and not to raise my voice in anger (the best I possibly could), and give him space and time when he needed to “cool down”.  Chin-Lee learned to listen beyond my sometimes still loud voice, slower to shut down and if he did shut down, he would let me know a set time and place to go over the issue (so I don’t feel abandoned by him).  I believe that in this process of learning, listening, giving ourselves for the others benefits and letting go when needed, both Chin-Lee and I became just a little closer to Christ-likeness.

                You see, my beloved reader, knowing and understanding our past frees us to grow in Christ.  It also helps us to deal with deep wounds and hurt brought on by our own family.  In the next article, I would like to talk more about the “toxic view” of God that many times also came from our past experiences with family members and significant others in our lives.  Until then, May the grace and mercy of God keep you and guide you as you continue in this journey of spiritual formation!  I will be praying for you!

               

The Clash of Culture

(This article was published first at Kingdom Resources Magazine, 2010)

“I have two faces I put on every day. One is my Chinese face when I’m at home—the other, my American face when I go to school. Sometimes I don’t even know who I really am.” 

“I love art and received a full scholarship to attend the art school of my dreams. But my parents had different plans. They said the holy trinity of careers is: doctor, lawyer or engineer. Those were my choices and I had to obey.”

“My parents are typical, hypocritical Chinese Christians. They say one thing and do another. Their worship services bore my head off. I wonder if God falls asleep in church, too.”

These are the pained and confused voices of American Born Chinese (ABC)…     ABC children have grown up in two distinctly different cultures. These two cultures pull at them constantly and at every corner. OBC parents, however, have been dreadfully ignorant about the struggles of their children. In fact, I believe that OBC parents and churches have generally denied the cultural part of our human make-up. Yes, many Chinese Christians like to think of themselves as “color/culture-blind” since they’ve acquired the Christian world view.  But they are blind to their cultural prejudices and how the pains and struggles of ABC’s versus OBC’s have torn many families and churches apart.

Culture and Woman’s Self-Understanding

                                             
Part of the headlines on today’s San Diego Union Tribune (May 10, 2011) is Camdr. Shanti Sethi, the first Indian American woman to command a US Navy warship (the destroy Decatur).

The Navy has 286 ships, fewer than 10 have female skippers. Out of roughly 1,500 active-duty commanding officers, 93 percent are men and 84 percent are white (1).  And obviously there is only one Asian American woman skipper!

I read this news with great interest.  A short woman (she is less than 5 feet tall and had to get a waiver to even get into Navy) with an Indian father and an American mother, Shanti Sethi was overlooked by her superior when first commissioned (even though she was one of the top students in class).  She “worked her behind off”, according to her mother, to where she is today.  When the ship she now commands docked in India this spring, it was a singular moment in history.  She became a “celebrity” in India (everyone wanted a picture of her to show it to their daughters).

My life in picture

This is a painting that Jan Johnson put up during one of the retreat she led.  She pointed out several different reactions of the disciples when facing maybe the strongest storm of their lives.  It hit me between the eyes like a 4 by4.

There was I, several years ago, frantically trying to "save everyone".  I was the seminar trained pastor.  I wanted to help.  I knew what to do.  Let me do it!

Then, there was I, after trying so hard and so very earnestly, finally realized that I could not "save" anyone (myself included), I stumbled to the side of the boat and just vomited (see that poor guys hanging over the side of the boat, his face greenish gray).....well, for quite some time.

Then I heard God said: Esther, why didn't you take a nap like Jesus?

My restless soul suddenly calmed down and settled, and I sat there for a long time.  After the retreat, for about a year, "go take a nap" became my life motto of some sort.   And slowly I came to understand why the painter painted as he did. 

My hope and prayer is that one day, in the midst of stormy sea of life (and there are many), I can calmly and confidently sit at Jesus feet, trusting, listening, learning and waiting.  Not because I can control the boat well as a skilled fisher-woman, or I no longer fearful of the dangers and unknown, but because I have followed Jesus long enough, know him well enough, trust him and love him with all my heart that I can just be.....as Jesus did and still do today.

The Biblical Model of Jesus' Humanity--Part 2

Visual Demonstration of the Movement of the Model

Jesus’ life, ministry, and his interaction with people, even in his death and resurrection, demonstrated again and again that he functioned as a totally integrated human being and that he related to people and addressed their common human conditions in an integrated and wholistic way.  Out of who he is (his being) and out of his completeness and wholeness, he lived, taught, and related to others and God.       

             Diagram 2 is an attempt to show the movement of integration.  The more the four arrows in the middle were pushed outward, the more the four circles overlapped, and the more the area of “integrating” of the different aspects increases (movement from 2.1 until to the very outline of the circle in 2.3).  When the four circles are fully overlapping (when the four aspects fully integrated with each other), the model becomes “one circle” in 2.4.  Therefore, 2.4 shows a four-times twisted and collapsed cylinder, similar to a compressed, modified “Moebius Strip” which is a one-sided non-orientable surface.[1]  

              The circle 2.4 represents Jesus, who indeed is a multi-dimensional, dynamic, and wholistic being!  His life is like a world class quartet that plays the most beautiful, rich, and heavenly music!  

---

                [1] Eric Weisstein, “Math Resources” [Information on-line] (Wolfram Research, updated periodically, accessed 4 June 2007), 1; available from Mathworld.wolfram.com; Internet.